The Dr Shadowgoddess show
by Safiremoon
Summary: The cast of YU-GI-OH go on a talk show and lots of things come out. Yaoi, flying panties and alot of really strange other things including Yamis in drag in later chapters. SJ YNBR
1. Episode 1: Mutts and the network

This is my second story on ff.net so I'm still getting use to this whole authoress thing so please don't flame me. I'm just telling you this for your own safety after all if you flame me I may just flame you back *Point's to the flame thrower in the corner* Whahahahahahahaah. Im evil its true and if your not careful I may just flame you. *Does another evil laugh* Im a poet and I didn't even know.......  
  
Bakura: "Can we get on with the story already?"  
  
SG: "I'm the authoress and the story will start when im good and ready got it you freaky albino."  
  
Bakura: "DON'T CALL ME A ALBINO YOU FREAKY YAOI OBSESSED PLUSHY LOVING PSYCHO."  
  
SG: True I do love yaoi and my beloved plushy collection *looks at her plushy collection* What the... MY FAVORITE PLUSHY IS MISSING...... BAKURA!  
  
Bakura: *Holds a lighter to the authoress's Neo plushy he stole.*  
  
SG: "NO PLEASE NOT MY NEO PLUSHY I WILL DO ANY THING JUST LET NEO GO"  
  
Bakura: "Start the damn story and stop that infernal wailing or Neo here will be turned to dust got it."  
  
I DO NOT OWN YU-GI-OH because if I did I would kill all the tramps (Tea, Mai, Serenity) and pair up all the boys up with each other. Unfortunately the real owners of yu-gi-oh are tramp loving, yaoi hating filthy rich ass holes. Please don't sue me.  
  
Ok the cast of yu-gi-oh has been invited to aper on the Dr. Shadowgoddess show. A talk show where the host is a therapist.  
  
Ryou: "This show plot sounds familiar I think there's already a show like this Shadowgoddess"  
  
SG: *sweat drop* "No no I don't know any shows like mine"  
  
Ryou: "I'm sure I've heard of a show like this"  
  
SG: "I don't know what your talking about Ryou *sweat drop* there's no show like mine none got it and if there were I 'm sure that the host of this other show that you seem to think exists would be sane and I can assure that I am not so the two would be very very different got it"  
  
Ryou: "I don't know what your talking about"  
  
SG: "Okay on with the show already"  
  
Warning: This story contains yaoi and if your not comfortable with that GET THE HELL OUT OF MY STORY this story also contains violence, nudity, drag queens, a crazy authoress, flying panties and whipped cream. Most of wich will not appear until later on in the story.  
  
______________________________________________________________________  
  
SG: "Welcome to the Dr Shadowgoddess show. Are first guest today all the way from Domino city, Japan Seto Kaiba".  
  
*Ladies in the audience scream hysterically*  
  
*Kaiba walking out on stage gets hit in the face with a pair of panties three times the size of his own undergarments*  
  
SG: "Okay how many times do I have to say no panties on stage ladies and who the hell thought they could break that rule" *Glares angrily at the audience then spots a angry looking hippo or woman that looked as if she could bench press the authoress* "Ah just wonder where I could find a thong like that"*laughs nervously* Well lets turn are attention to are guest shall we. Seto-san....  
  
Kaiba: "Kaiba"  
  
SG: "What ?"  
  
Kaiba: " I would prefer if you would call me Kaiba NOT 'Seto-san'"  
  
SG: "But Seto-san's so much cuter now enough of this Seto are you currently attached to any one in particular"  
  
Seto: *Coughs nervously* "NO"  
  
SG: "Well we have someone backstage that disagrees." "All the way from Domino city, Japan put your hands together for Jounouchi Katsuya."  
  
Kaiba: *Sweat drop* "What's that mutt doing here?"  
  
*Jou blows kisses to the audience and catches numerous panties including Shadowgoddess's then sit's down in the chair next to Seto's*  
  
Kaiba: "I thought people where not allowed to throw undergarments on your show"  
  
SG: "Audience members no there not supposed to throw there panties at the guests *Glares at the fan girls in the audience that threw there panties at Jou* but I my bishy boy am not a guest im the host and the authoress too for that matter so I can do what ever the hell I want to."  
  
Kaiba: "Whatever"  
  
SG: *Glares at Kaiba then turns her attention to Jou* "Jou-Jou may I call you Jou-Jou."  
  
Jou: "Yes you may but I would rather you just call me Jou"  
  
SG: "Okay Jou" *Sighs dreamily looking into Jou's sexy brown eyes, then catches Kaiba's glare and glares back* "Now Jou is there any thing you mite like to say to Mr. Kaiba here"  
  
Jou: "Why yes now that you mention it there is something I would like to say."  
  
Kaiba: *sweat drip*  
  
SG: "Please tell us Jou what's on your mind"  
  
Jou: "SETO HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A MUTT WHEN LAST NIGHT YOU WHERE THE ONE IN THE DOG COLLAR HOWLING WHILE I FUCKED YOUR BRAINS OUT. YOU STILL CAN'T EVEN WALK STRAIT "  
  
Kaiba: "SHUT UP YOU IDIOT WERE ON NATIONAL TELEVISION"  
  
Jou: "WHO YOU CALLING A IDIOT YOU SON OF BITCH"  
  
Kaiba "YOU YOU HORNY BITCH"  
  
Jou: "YOUR ONE TO TALK ABOUT HORNY BITCHES YOU ACT LIKE A BITCH IN HEAT ALL THE TIME"  
  
SG: "Now this is what I can entertainment good thing were not on live hahahahahahah"  
  
*Some guy taps Shadowgoddess on the shoulder*  
  
SG: "Yes Jimmy what is it"  
  
Jimmy: "Well Dr. Goddess we are on live remember the 100th show LIVE"  
  
SG: "Today's my 100th show *tears up* Do you know how hard I have worked to get to this moment Jimmy my 100th show my LIVE 100TH SHOW LIVE NO!!!! The network will have my head for this."  
  
Seto: "WHORE"  
  
Jou: "PUSSY"  
  
SG: "STOP OR I WILL HAVE YOU BOTH NEUTERED"  
  
...................................................................*Silence* ............................................................  
  
SG: "Where on live and now all of America just saw your little lovers spat the networks gonna kill me"* Spots two big guys in suits coming her way* "Crap the network bullies"  
  
*Runs*  
  
SG *Still running* That's all for this show folks tomorrow on Dr. Shadowgoddess we will have guests including Kaiba's brother Neo. Bye every one "Runs from the studio weird guys in suits still behind her"  
  
_______________________________________________________________  
  
Well that it for the first chapter I hope you liked it and will review . 


	2. Episode 2: Brothers and tattoos

Okay this is my second chapter for The Dr. Shadowgoddess show I hope that every one that read the first chapter liked it and that everyone that reads this chapter will like it as well.  
  
Bakura: "I'm not in this episode ether"  
  
SG: "Well no"  
  
Bakura: "Well why the hell not"  
  
SG: *See's Bakura watching her plushy collection* "Don't worrie your booked for tommorow's show"*Laughs nervously*  
  
Bakura: "I had damn well better be or your plushys will be sorry"  
  
SG: *Glares at Bakura* "Can we get on with today's show already"  
  
I don't own yu-gi-oh because if I did I would be filthy rich and do you really think I would be spending all my time writing fan fictions on a computer about ten years out of date if I were filthy rich? I don't fucking think so. I would be sun bathing on some beach in a tropical island paradise somewhere not sitting here typing okay. I don't own Jerry Springer.  
  
(FYI In the second chapter we introduce Neo Kaiba and for all you that don't now the Japanese series Neo is a real person well sort of he doesn't really have a body of his own in are world but I gave him one for the story and since im probably just confusing you more wich im sure im doing since im confusing myself I will just leave it at that)  
  
_______________________________________________________________  
  
SG: "Hello and welcome to the Dr. Shadowgoddess show. I'm Dr. Shadowgoddess. Now lets recap on yesterdays episode. We talked a bit with the former number one duelist Seto Kaiba and his koi Jounouchi Katsuya "  
  
Kaiba: "That mutt is not my koi"  
  
Jou: "Watch it Seto or a certain CEO is going to be sleeping alone tonight"  
  
SG: "Are next guest is here to shine a little light on the REAL Seto Kaiba please welcome Seto's brother Neo Kaiba"  
  
*Neo walk's out on to stage holding the hand of none other then Yugi Moto*  
  
SG: "Aren't you two just the cutest couple"  
  
Neo: "yes we are"  
  
SG: "What's it like having Seto as a brother"  
  
Kaiba: "HE IS NOT MY BROTHER"  
  
Neo: "Yes I am my father adoptied you and Mokuba making you my brother"  
  
Kaiba: "I don't care your not my brother"  
  
SG: "Funny that you should mention Mokuba Neo because we happen to have the little raven haired Kaiba here today"  
  
Kaiba: "What did you do steal my address book you have everybody in my life here my boyfriend, my brothers and even my biggest enemy *Glares at Yugi who blows a kiss and winks* What's next my 3rd grade math teacher Miss Haruna"  
  
SG. "As a matter of fact we did have Miss Haruna booked for the show but the old bat crocked a week ago"  
  
Seto: "WHAT THE FUCK...."  
  
Mokuba: "BIG BROTHER!"  
  
Seto: "MOKUBA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE"  
  
SG: "He's here to tell us a little about his big brother. Go ahead Mokuba tell us is Seto a Good big brother?"  
  
Seto: *Smirks as if already knowing Mokuba's answer*  
  
Mokuba: "No Seto is a horrible big brother."  
  
Seto: "WHAT"  
  
Mokuba: "Seto you wont let me get a tattoo "  
  
Seto: "YOUR TWELVE MOKUBA"  
  
Mokuba: "I KNOW HOW OLD I AM"  
  
Seto: "YOUR TO YOUNG FOR A TATTOO"  
  
Mokuba: "I WANT A TATTOO"  
  
Seto: "I SAID NO and that's final besides why would you even want a tattoo there for the lower class NO KAIBA WILL EVER HAVE A TATTOO."  
  
Jou: *Taps Seto on the shoulder* "YOU HAVE A TATTOO OR HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN"  
  
Mokuba/SG/Neo/Yugi/Audience: "WHAT!!!!!!"  
  
SG: *Looks up and down Seto then turns to Jou* "WHERE"  
  
Jou: "Somewhere im very familiar with. Seto has a dragon tattoo on his ass he told me that he got really drunk once and he woke up the next morning with not only a terrible hangover but the tattoo two. He doesn't even remember getting it he just woke up and it was there."  
  
Seto: "At least I don't sing love songs to myself in the mirror."  
  
Jou: "At least I don't snore"  
  
Seto: "Oh yes you do"  
  
SG: "Enough already now can we get on with the show and keep in mind your not on Jerry Springer."  
  
SG: "Are next guest is originally from Egypt ancient Egypt the former king Yami"  
  
Seto: "Not him"  
  
Yugi: "Oh no Yami on television"  
  
SG: "Yes that's kinda the point of a talk show"  
  
Yugi: "You don't understand Yami has been having a kind of identity crises"  
  
Yami: "Hello all"  
  
*Everyone in the place turns to see Yami and jaws drop*  
  
Yami: "What's everyone's problem"  
  
SG: "Yami your wearing a dress and makeup"  
  
Yami: "Oh I know I look hot"  
  
SG: So much for not turning into Jerry Springer. My final thought you people are freaks im out of here.  
  
SG: Tomorrow on The Dr. Shadowgoddess show we will talk more with Yami about his new look. Bye.  
  
______________________________________________________________________  
  
Hope you liked the new chapter. I wrote this high on sugar so its more then a bit strange. And please Review. 


	3. Episode3: Drag queens and one night stan...

.I'm not really feeling well (caught a nasty head cold) so im going to let the boys do the intro and im going to write the story. Got it? Good. On with chapter three.  
  
Ryou: "First of all Shadowgoddess or SG would like to thank all her reviewers"  
  
Bakura: "She only got three reviews"  
  
SG: "FOUR"  
  
Bakura: "Two are from the same person"  
  
SG: "So?" *Starts a death glare match with Bakura*  
  
Ryou: That reminds me Shadowgoddess would especial like to thank Yami Crystal for reviewing....... "SG are you sure you want me to say what's on the card?"  
  
SG: * Never stops glaring at Bakura* "Yes Ryou just read the damn card"  
  
Ryou: "Ok, Shadowgoddess would especial like to thank Yami Crystal for reviewing both her crappy, poorly written, sorry excuse of a story chapters."  
  
SG: "RYOU WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"  
  
Ryou: "I was just reading what you wrote and told me to read"  
  
SG: *Grabs the cue cards from Ryou's hand* "Ryou these aren't the cue cards I wrote. Where the hell did these cards come from?"  
  
Ryou: "Bakura gave them to me. He said you told him to deliver the new cards to me ASAP"  
  
SG: "BAKURA!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Bakura: *On the floor rolling with laughter* "Hahahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahaah"  
  
SG: *Grabs the butchers knife and chases after the platinum haired fiend* "Ryou the disclaimer."  
  
Ryou: Shadowgoddess does not own Yu-gi-oh but I wish she did at the rate the real owners of yu-gi-oh are going im never going to get it on with my yami. Damn yaoi hating suits. ______________________________________________________________________  
  
SG: "Hello and welcome to the Dr Shadowgoddess show. On today's show more craziness what else would there be? We will also be speaking with Yami about his unusual new wardrobe."  
  
Yami " What is so unusual about the way I am dressed ? "  
  
SG: "Well Yami your wearing a dress"  
  
Yami: "Yes, so what's your point"  
  
SG: "YOUR WEARING A DRESS!"  
  
Yami: "SO ARE YOU"  
  
SG: "I'M A GIRL YOU MORON"  
  
Yami: "SO BECAUSE I AM A MALE I CAN'T WEAR A DRESS, IS THAT WHAT YOUR SAYING?"  
  
SG: "It's not because your a male that you can't wear a dress Yami in fact one of favorite stories on ff.net is full of bishy boys dressed up in drag."  
  
Yami: "So what's wrong with me wearing a dress?"  
  
SG: *Coughs nervously* " Well for starters you really need to shave your legs and well tri colored spiked hair and a neon pink sun dress don't mix well."  
  
Yami: *Cries LOUDLY* "YOUR WRONG"*runs off stage*  
  
SG: " Ok, lets move on shall we. Seto do you have any hobbies?"  
  
Seto: "Duel monsters, working and making peoples lives miserable."  
  
SG: *Notice's for the first time that Seto's wearing a dog suit and Joey's wearing all black leather and holding a whip* "I'm not even gonna ask"  
  
Seto: "Good don't"  
  
Joey: "Did I give you permission to speak mutt?"  
  
Seto: *Whimpers* "No master"  
  
SG: *Desperately look's for someone to talk to aside from her original guest and his master*  
  
*Neo and Yugi were making out and Mokuba was playing with a lighter.*  
  
SG: "Damn, Is there no one that's sane out there"  
  
*Jimmy guy reapers* Jimmy: "We do have one more guest a Mr. Ryou Bakura"  
  
SG: " Ryou Perfect, send him out Jimmy"  
  
SG: "Are next guest a sexy sweet British guy by the name of Ryou Bakura"  
  
Seto: *Sweat drop*  
  
* Ryou appears out on stage greeted by the excited screams of the fan girls in the audience*  
  
SG: *spots several fan girls holding there panties* *Grabs Jou's whip* "The first fan girl to throw her panties at the cute bishy boy gets it"  
  
Jou: "That's mine"  
  
SG: "2 bad"  
  
Jou: "Sticks out his tongue"  
  
SG: "Hello Ryou its so nice to see you*  
  
Ryou: "Nice to see you to Dr. Shadowgoddess"  
  
SG: "Please sweety call me SG"  
  
Ryou: "Ok SG"  
  
SG: " Well a Ryou you wouldn't happen to know Seto Kaiba well would you I mean this series is supposed to be about him"  
  
Ryou: "No I don't know Seto very well. I've mostly just passed by him in the halls and stuff you know nothing much well there was that night in the cabin but you wouldn't be interested in that"*Blushes*  
  
Seto: *Jumps out of his chair knocking it to the ground* "Ryou don't you dare say another word"  
  
Ryou: "And if I do? What are you going to do fido"  
  
Seto: "I'm warning you, you freak don't say another word"  
  
Ryou: "Freak who's the one with the foot fetish Seto?"  
  
Seto *Glares wide eyed*  
  
SG: "FOOT FETISH"  
  
Jou: "SETO HOW DOES RYOU KNOW ABOUT YOUR LOVE OF FEET?"  
  
SG: "AND DOES THIS CABIN FIT IN SOMEHOW?"  
  
Seto: "Jou im sorry it was just one night on that school trip to the mountains."  
  
Jou: " Your not supposed to play with other guys feet just mine" *Tears up*  
  
Seto: "I'm sorry love let me buy you a new car to prove that im sorry"  
  
Jou: "You think you can just buy me back"  
  
Jou: "Any car I want"  
  
Seto: " Yes anything"  
  
Jou: "A mustang convertible?"  
  
Seto: "Yes what ever your heart desires"  
  
Jou: "Ok I forgive you"  
  
SG: "Just like that your going to forgive him?"  
  
Jou: "HELL YES for a convertible he could have gotten my sister pregnant for all I care"  
  
SG: "Whatever"  
  
Bakura: "Ryou how could you?"  
  
*Whole place goes silent*  
  
SG: *Jaw drops* "Bakura why aren't you WEARING ANY CLOTHING"  
  
Bakura: I was getting changed when I herd of this tramps treachery" *Point's at Ryou*  
  
Ryou: "ME, YOU SPEND WEEKS ON END WITH YOUR BOYFRIENDS AND YOUR GOING TO CALL ME A TRAMP"  
  
Bakura: "Whatever" *Runs off stage"  
  
SG: "Thank god. So much for Ryou being a normal guest."  
  
SG: " That's it for this episode thank god were ending before anyone gets killed"  
  
______________________________________________________________________  
  
I wrote most of this a couple days ago so first I would like to say thanks to my other reviewers and second *Slaps herself* I'm sorry I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this chapter.  
  
Also im going to be having the audience asking the boys questions next chapter and all you readers are my audience so if you have any questions for the boys please send me a review with your question and you could be on the Dr. Shadowgoddess show.  
  
And 'Me' im preety sure its Neo not Noah. I've never heard any one call him Noah so you most be wrong no affiance ^-^.  
  
Thanks for reading please review. 


	4. Episode 4: Can't think up a name

Finally I've written chapter four. I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get it written I've been really busy not to mention a huge case of writers block that I'm trying to get rid of and I just got a new computer 2 *glomps the monitor* It's perfect.  
  
This Chapter is dedicated to my friend and fellow authoress Escachick.  
  
If you think my stories funny you've gotta check out her story *The order of the Boxers*  
  
It's my favorite humor fiction on ff.net.  
  
Now since Bakura is being punished for his shall we say dramatic entrance on are last episode Jou will be doing the disclaimer today.  
  
SG: "Jou do the disclaimer "   
  
Jou: "Okay Shadowgoddess does not own…" *Start's crying*   
  
SG: "Now what's wrong"?  
  
Jou: "I want Mary back I miss her"  
  
SG: "Who's Mary your ex girlfriend"  
  
Jou: "GIRLFRIEND hell no Mary's my precious whip that you stole"  
  
SG: -_-"You mean to tell me your crying over a whip you named Mary"  
  
Jou: "Yes now give Mary back"  
  
SG: "Jou you've got more issues then me and I'm insane"  
  
Jou: "Where's Mary"  
  
SG: "I'm not telling you she's mine now" *Runs*  
  
Jou: "NO" *Chases after SG*  
  
SG: *Still running* "Malik you do the disclaimer"  
  
Malik *Look's up from painting his nails a purplish black* "Okay"  
  
Malik: "Shadowgoddess does not own YU-GI-OH, Thank Ra for that." *shudders at the thought*  
  
_______________________________________________________________________________  
  
SG: Last time on The Dr. Shadowgoddess show we found out even more about are special guest Seto Kaiba like his great liking of feet.  
  
Seto: "CAN WE DROP IT ALREADY"  
  
SG: "A bit testy today are we"  
  
Seto: *Glares*  
  
SG: 'Fine we will talk with someone else today since it seems that are original guest does not want to talk with us"* Scans the Set for sane people*  
  
*Mokuba was trying to set a fake plant on fire, Neo and Yugi were still making out, Jou was glaring at the authoress, Ryou was ignoring him yami who was now fully clothed and ignoring his hikari both were glaring at air and Yami was back on stage still in his pink sundress sobbing quietly. In the audience the rabid fan girls were growing impatient*  
  
SG "How about we take some questions from the audience"  
  
*Hands pop up all over*  
  
SG: "You in the leather" *points to a girl close to the back*  
  
Audience member: "I have a question for Yami"  
  
Yami: *Stops crying and smiles*  
  
Audience member: "Since you're wearing dresses now, can i have your leather?? and the buckles??" *hyperventilates*   
  
Yami: "No way in hell not my leather " *glomps his leather and buckles*  
  
SG: "Yami give the nice reviewer the leather now or else" *Grabs Mary*  
  
Jou: *Look's up O_O* "MARY!" *Lunges at SG, Yami and Mary*  
  
SG: O_O "Crap" *Ducks*  
  
Jou: *Missies SG and hits Yami making them both fall and Yami rip his dress*  
  
Jou: "Sorry Yami"   
  
Yami: "SORRY YOU JUST RIPED MY FAVORITE DRESS YOU STUPID BITCH" *Smacks him over the head with a 20 pound metal belt*  
  
Jou: *_* *Sees star's*  
  
SG: -_- "Here" *Gives the girl all of Yami's leather collection and the buckles too*  
  
SG: *Glare's and points at the sign on the wall: 'No attempted murder 5000-dollar fine'*  
  
"Ether the fan girl keeps the leather or you owe me 5 grand"  
  
Yami *Glare's but says nothing*  
  
SG: *Sees Seto bend down next to Jou* " Let me guess ether I hand over Mary or you'll sue me"  
  
Seto: *Sighs* " You can keep the damn thing Jou always paid more attention to his whip then he did to me"  
  
SG: "Okay whatever, Next question how about you" *Point's to a girl in a green dress*  
  
Audience member: "This question is for Bakura would you strip for free on the show?"  
  
Bakura: "Sure why not, Hit it"  
  
Ryou: *Shakes his head and sighs* "Bakura must you do this ever talk show we go on"  
  
* All of a sudden the speakers start to play music*  
  
Bakura: *Start's singing* "I'm too sexy for my shirt" *Take's off his shirt* " I'm too sexy for   
  
my pants" *Take's off his pants** Only wearing a pair of blue boxers* " I'm too sexy for my…"  
  
SG: *Unplugs sound system* "Hell no, put your cloths back on you dumb ass" *Ducks out of the path of a tomato that a Bakura fan girl throw at her for stopping the show"   
  
Bakura fan girls and a fan boy O_O: *Glares*  
  
SG: *Sweat drop* "Okay next question" *Points to the girl sitting next to the last one*  
  
Audience member: "Who is the most sane and insane person"  
  
SG: "I will answer that The most sane person Yugi, the most insane *Look's around* Bakura"  
  
Bakura: "WHAT"  
  
SG: *Sweat drop* " Next question *points to a girl *  
  
Audience member: "For Yami, what would he do if he had the Rod for a day that will make Seto lose his dignity?"  
  
Yami: "Well first I would make him go into the most public place I could find completely naked then I would have him do the Tango with a broom then make him fuck that broom"  
  
Audience member: O_O  
  
Everyone: O_O  
  
SG: "I changed my mind Yami is the most insane person"  
  
Malik: "No I am"  
  
SG: "Where did you come from"  
  
Malik: Egypt, Now Yami that does sound like fun * Hold's up his Rod*  
  
Seto: O_O "CRAP!" *Runs*  
  
SG: "That's all for this episode" *Runs after the crazy Egyptian and terrified CEO*  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
~.^ What was I thinking.   
  
I hope you all enjoyed this unusual chapter.  
  
Sorry it was so short.  
  
And hope you guys will check out my new story it's a Jou/Seto fic. 


	5. Episode 5: The Bakura chapters

Finally I'm back and ready to go back to working on my stories.  
  
Bakura: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
SM: YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!  
  
Bakura: DAMN IT ALL WOMAN, HOW DID YOU ESCAPE THE SHADOW REALM?  
  
SM: That's a different story *glares* And I'm still looking for the person or should I say sprit that sent me there.  
  
Ryou: Wait a minute this is the Dr Shadowgoddess show, your not SG  
  
SM: Your right I'm not Shadowgoddess I'm her reincarnation Safiremoon or SM for short and here for you darling *Hands Ryou a strawberry pasty*   
  
Ryou: Umm….. alright I suppose *Grabs pasty* ^ ^ Thank you SM  
  
Bakura: OH NO…….. *Sees Ryou finish of the giant pasty with a huge grin* SUGAR-HIGH HIKARI!!!!!!  
  
Ryou: Kura wanna play a game?  
  
Bakura: *sweat drops* O_O *Runs*  
  
Ryou: Kura wait up, *grabs hammer* I wanna play wack-a-yami   
  
SM: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Warning: If you haven't noticed the first four warnings in the other chapters consult a physician immediately cuz your either blind or just plain stupid.   
  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
  
Jimmy: "Dr Safiremoon are first guest still hasn't arrived yet"  
  
SM: "Damn good for nothing tomb robber. He goes through all the trouble of black mailing me into doing this show only to be late……"  
  
Jimmy: "We go on in one minute…. Wait make that five seconds"  
  
SM: "That stupid piece of….."  
  
Jimmy: "and were on"  
  
SM: "Hello and welcome to the Dr Shadowgoddess show, I'm your host for today Dr Safiremoon  
  
Are first guest today is….. Well umm see he's………ah he"  
  
Bakura: "I'm right here"  
  
Fan girls in the audience notice the platinum haired yami and go nuts with several of them throwing there bras at the stage.  
  
SM: *Removes the bra that landed on her head and glares at the fan girls in the audience* "HAVE YOU FORGOTEN THE RULE ALREADY NO…………"  
  
Fan girl in the audience raises her hand  
  
SM: "What is it"  
  
Fan girl: "You said no throwing panties but you said nothing about bras"  
  
SM: ~.^ "True I suppose…..fine you can throw bras but no hitting the host"  
  
Bakura: *Digs out from beneath a large pile of fan girls bras* "Damn women"   
  
  
  
SM: "Umm Bakura tell us more about you"  
  
Bakura: "Well I'm a International finder of ancient relics"  
  
SM: "You mean a tomb robber"  
  
Bakura: "Yes but I'm also a skilled killer" *menacing tone*   
  
SM: "In other words you burn insects with a magnifying glass"  
  
Bakura: "True that is a hobby of mine Ryou told me I needed one"  
  
SM: "ok then do you have any other hobbies"  
  
Bakura: "Well at the moment I am training an army of rabid raccoons to aid me in my fight against the squirrels"  
  
SM: "umm ok then lets see……DON'T WE HAVE ANY OTHER GUESTS"  
  
Jimmy: "a Mr. Bakura is also here Dr. Safiremoon"  
  
SM: "I know that Jimmy that's the problem"  
  
Jimmy: "No the other Mr. Bakura"  
  
SM: "Ryou, Ryou is here send him out Jimmy"  
  
Bakura: "WHAT, WHY IS MY HIKARI HERE"  
  
SM: "Are next guest Is a past guest that has helped us shed some very interesting light on a past guest, One Ryou Bakura"  
  
Ryou: *Climbs out from huge pile of bras* "hello"  
  
SM: "Hello Ryou darling I do believe you know are guest"  
  
Bakura: "What is he doing here" *points to Ryou*  
  
Ryou: "Oh calm yourself down I'm not here for you I'm here because SM asked me to come, that and I was promised pasties"   
  
SM: "Yes Ryou you shall get your years supply of pasties after the show"  
  
Bakura: "How is it this treacherous slut gets pasties and I don't" *still pointing at Ryou*  
  
Ryou: "TREACHEROUS SLUT WHY YOU SKANKY BASTERD, ONE NIGHT WITH KIABA ONE NIGHT WHILE YOU GO OFF RUNNING AROUND WITH MARIK ALMOST EVERY NIGHT"  
  
Bakura: "YOUR POINT IS, I AM YAMI I DO AS I PLEASE YOU ARE HIKARI YOU DO AS I PLEASE"  
  
Ryou: "WHY WOULD I WANT TO TAKE ORDERS FROM SOMEONE WHO IS AFRID OF CAREBEARS AND BURNED MY TEDDY"  
  
Bakura: "I WAS PROTECTING YOU AND EVERYONE KNOWS CARE BEARS ARE EVIL"  
  
Ryou: "PROTECTING ME FROM WHAT YOU DO NOTHING BUT IGNORE ME EITHER WITH MALIK OR WITH YOUR ARMY OF DISEASED RACOOONS"  
  
SM: "BOTH OF YOU BE QUITE"  
  
Bakura: "but he….."  
  
SM: "QUITE, Now both of you SIT "  
  
Bakura: *pouting sits back down*  
  
Ryou: *Moves the second chair away from his yami and sits*  
  
SM: "Thank you, now what seems to be the problem Ryou" *glares at Bakura*  
  
Bakura: *Glares back but says nothing*  
  
Ryou: "It all started with the squirrels"  
  
SM: "The squirrels"  
  
Ryou: "Yes the squirrels, See Last spring a family of squirrels moved into the tree in our backyard Bakura thought that they would make good targets for target practice so one night when he was drunk he went out to try to kill them but he ended up shooting himself in the foot instead……."  
  
Bakura: "I DID NOT SHOOT MYSELF IT WAS THE SQUIRRELS, THE SQUIRRELS I TELL YOU"  
  
SM: "I SAID QUITE I WILL SHOOT YOU MYSELF IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP AND LET RYOU TELL US THE STORY, Ryou dear please continue"  
  
Ryou: "Thank you SM, as I was saying ever since that night he's been on a crusaid against the poor squirrels. All he does is spend time plotting ways to kill and mutilate them"  
  
*****************DING DONG*************************  
  
SM: "It seems we have another guest, all the way from Ryou's yard the leader of the squirrel army"  
  
Out comes a small squirrel   
  
Bakura: "AHHHHHH THERE HERE RACCOONS, RACCOONS CLICK CLICK SQUEAK CLICK CLICK SQUEAK RACCOONS ATACK"  
  
Squirrel: *Stops in front of Bakura* "Squeakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk"  
  
All of a sudden hundreds of squirrels start pouring onto the set heading strait for Bakura   
  
Bakura: *runs*  
  
Squirrels: *chase him*  
  
Audience: *Screaming*  
  
Ryou: *In shock*   
  
  
  
SM: *Running* "That's it for today's show tomorrow….. ouch I think a squirrel just bit me" *runs for life*   
  
____________________________________________________  
  
-_- That was.....odd   
  
You know the drill 


End file.
